This afternoon, I sat alone for a long time. Now that I stand at my current age, I finally understand the inexplicable emotions I had at eighteen. Growing up, I gradually discovered that I seemed to have really lost my imagination, and over the years, I have increasingly felt powerless about certain things.

My journey in life is filled with bruises left by growing pains, constantly aching in the endless night, reminding me that the world after growing up is not that easy.

The beautiful future that was once vividly envisioned has turned into a boring and mediocre reality. Unknowingly, I have drifted further away from myself, and I have torn apart the colorful world hidden in my diary with my own hands. I have struggled alone through many grievances and pains; it has been a bumpy journey, making progress difficult. They call this growth, but only I know that I am anxiously navigating through this thorny world, causing my vibrant self to be battered and bruised.

The stubbornness, ignorance, and unwavering determination of youth have been worn down by the passage of time into a taciturn demeanor. We all underestimate the significance of growing up; in our twenties, we have neither achieved the life we wanted nor retained our original selves. We have not become the people we wanted to be, nor have we preserved the happiness we once had.

People are inherently greedy, wanting too much, only to end up with nothing in the end. Perhaps it was naivety and youth that made me believe many things would never change. Thus, I recklessly squandered what I had at the time. Later on, I often fantasized about whether life would be different if I could go back to being eighteen. Would I be able to obtain everything I desire?

But I understand myself; this humid heavy rain will not stop. Everything in front of me is still hazy. I once thought that if life started over, everything could reset to zero, and I could become the person I wanted to be. However, fate has not given us the courage to start over, and time does not give us the opportunity to begin anew.

If the road ahead is destined to be bumpy, why make myself endure the pain again? I am trapped behind the curtain of life, but I don't want to be stuck in a certain period of time or deeply entangled in dreams that I cannot attain. People have no power over time, so I become more and more calm, accepting all losses and forgiving all pains without arguing or disputing fate. I just want to become a better and happier person, considering the flowing time as a gift given to me by life.